All Writing & Art, Published Work, The Mighty

But You Were Fine Yesterday {The Mighty}

...There’s so many times when I get a remark or a look or a suggestion of “but you seemed fine yesterday.” These suggestions make my blood boil, because perhaps I had a mask on yesterday, or perhaps I didn’t and today I just feel like shit. Mental illness (unfortunately) doesn’t work quite so neatly and… Continue reading But You Were Fine Yesterday {The Mighty}

All Writing & Art, Published Work, The Mighty

A love letter to anyone who struggled to shower today {The Mighty}

This is a love letter to all those for whom showering is repeatedly a laborious exercise, physically, emotionally or both.7 To those who spend days putting it off because you know just how exhausting or painful it feels, right down to your bones, just to stand under the water for that long. Those who do… Continue reading A love letter to anyone who struggled to shower today {The Mighty}

All Writing & Art, Poetry. Prose. Letters.

other days

Some days I can't find the words to tell you all the ways I am barely breathing. Some days I don't have words to explain the panic attack that forced me to remain indoors and to shut out the world for it was the only option I had to regain my breath and remember how… Continue reading other days

All Writing & Art, Poetry. Prose. Letters.

the anxiety that holds

i'm wondering where this life starts and where it ends. is it somewhere between the inhale of a sharp breath and the wilting of a leaf, or drowning in exhales while the sun gives rise to a new day? it sometimes feels like the world will come to a crashing end if i don't solve… Continue reading the anxiety that holds

All Writing & Art, Articles / Longer Pieces, Elephant Journal, Published Work

Suicide & Love: We Are Not Alone {Elephant Journal}

I see the calls at this time of year for words on suicide—asking for stories and experiences and prevention advocacy and advice. Before now I felt that I had nothing to add to the conversation. I thought, “my story isn’t as worthy as theirs,” or “I’ve never attempted suicide, so the suicidal feelings I experience… Continue reading Suicide & Love: We Are Not Alone {Elephant Journal}

All Writing & Art, Poetry. Prose. Letters.

In the Mirror (my worst days)

This is what it feels like on my worst days. This is what I see in the mirror when my ptsd/trauma/depression/anxiety/abuse memory is taking a firm grip.  I created this partly during a moment of feeling all this, partly while sitting outside of the feeling, observing it. But I put it to one side in… Continue reading In the Mirror (my worst days)

All Writing & Art, Poetry. Prose. Letters.

the hour

She lay on the cold, hard floor, aching and alone, recalling the previous hour when she battled her inner demons to stand up and speak her most painful and harrowing truths. Her heart feeling more battered and bruised than ever before. She didn't know it yet, but one day she would look back and write… Continue reading the hour

All Writing & Art, Poetry. Prose. Letters.

Life, Maybe

Maybe in the moments I find myself deeply entrenched in my grief, my longing, my dark dense despair, feeling there is no hope and no help and nothing, just nothing left,   …maybe right there and then I am as close to Life as one can possibly be.  Yes, Death too, Death is lurking just as… Continue reading Life, Maybe

All Writing & Art, Poetry. Prose. Letters.

some days like this

some days are hard, for no reason at all and for every reason that came before, all at the same time. some days you think should be different, you think you should feel better, do better, be better because of something said or done yesterday or the day before. some days you beat yourself up… Continue reading some days like this

All Writing & Art, Poetry. Prose. Letters.

just breathe

sometimes all I want is to breathe, just breathe. and sometimes keeping breathing is the hardest decision, the hardest movement I can make, or, sometimes I forget how to breathe, just breathe. sometimes it's too much. I can see the air surrounding me, looping my body with no point of inhale and it becomes too… Continue reading just breathe