the anxiety that holds

i'm wondering where this life starts and where it ends. is it somewhere between the inhale of a sharp breath and the wilting of a leaf, or drowning in exhales while the sun gives rise to a new day? it sometimes feels like the world will come to a crashing end if i don't solve … Continue reading the anxiety that holds

through doors

i'm tiptoeing through closed doors, finding there's not enough space to walk back through. fighting in a war with myself that i can only lose if i do not let go, let be, let life pass through and in here. when did i get so scared of my own voice? the knowing that knew me … Continue reading through doors

She is Life and She is Death

  She is a visionary in her dreams, blind in her waking. She is an innocent criminal and a sinful saint. She fights for her life to move closer to death And succumbs to her dying so she can continue living. She is a contradicted emotion wrapped in verified numb feeling. She stares up to … Continue reading She is Life and She is Death

The Forest of Our Tomorrow {Meraki}

Meraki.(n.) The soul, creativity, or love put into something; the essence of yourself that is put into your work. words The Forest of Our Tomorrow I walk through the forest of our tomorrow, the light glistens in the distance, almost fading as the sun sets on yesterday. It feeds me as I embody all grief … Continue reading The Forest of Our Tomorrow {Meraki}

Mirror of My Eyes {a poem}

Maybe at the start there was me Maybe in the end there was you Oh heart, you shone Out of the window to my mind Into the reflection of my soul I took you down To the chasm of my womb Where you grew beyond all I could sustain I tried I raised mountains to … Continue reading Mirror of My Eyes {a poem}

Grief (and home)

You feel so near, yet I cannot touch you. I long for that, for you to touch me, for me to touch you. I've been sending my love to you on an electric cable of thoughts and wishes and memories, hoping you feel the energy pulsating through you, as it does me, when it reaches … Continue reading Grief (and home)

the reckoning

if now is the time to stand up and be counted i am here, ready for the reckoning i am me one. i am one i am my own i am neither yours nor hers nor his for the taking i am not your puppet or your plaything or yours i am my own i … Continue reading the reckoning

I Became Life

I don't know what happened that day, the day you changed, the day you left. It was like the earth swallowed me up while propelling you into space. It all happened so fast. I think it takes longer to blink, but somehow I saw you go. Like a slow motion movie where hands are parted, … Continue reading I Became Life

Things I wish you knew 

Some days my biggest accomplishment is brushing my teeth.  On those days I don't always feel worthy of being loved.  When you told me I was an 'old soul', you were right, but I yearn for the fleeting moments of feeling young. There are days when I feel like I have lived ten lifetimes in … Continue reading Things I wish you knew