ten months

a string of months disappeared
in the blink of a nightmare.
don’t ask me where i went.
it is thick, dense, lifeless,
wading through treacle
only not near as sweet.
i remember
yet i cannot recall a thing.
surreal dissonance ensued,
with every step empty, misguided, wrong.
now, in this life unfathomable,
amnesia sets in
to protect, to shield.
distant but binding events bringing me close
to this reality
that i’m just waking up to.
take me home,
wherever it may be,
for i have none
and i shudder in the face of it,
this existence,
a face i cannot decipher or name
because i am not here.
i’m still sitting at the start
wondering why i feel tired and bruised,
why the line is now marked ‘finish’.
details gone.
grasping at blood and embers.
i’m frightened.
take me home.

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